It's like this...

I'm happy... and everything in my world seems fine. I can be driving down the road listening to music and singing right along with Nicole in the Moulin Rouge... and for a brief moment, I might even become Satine. I might even feel powerful and beautiful. Who knows, I might even forget my hair isn't bright red.

Then somewhere between the Moulin Rouge and my apartment... something happens. Somewhere I fall victim to my monster... to the thing that haunts me... or, rather, hunts me. I become the hunted.

I can feel It getting closer and closer... and finally crawling up my back and into my brain. (I still never have managed to find It's "door"...)

Once It's inside, my world goes black. I can't seen the red windmill of the Moulin Rouge... I now have my highlighted red hair back... and I'm constantly off-key with the music...

I'm constantly just off key...

I grow angry at... nothing, but everything. And terrified because It's found me again. Then angry because I let It. Then terrified because It has... and It will again, and again, and again. Then angry again... terrified... angry...

... terrified...

And then something... someone... anything... can fall victim to me in my "state." They can accidently walk past just as It reaches out of my body to spat at them... and, sometimes It snags them... sometimes It misses them. But It's aim is growing increasingly sharp... and accurate.

... terrified... angry...

If I am alone, maybe I can find It and finally find a way to just get It out of my brain... or to find if It's even in my brain... maybe it travels throughout.

If I could only just see It... find a way to get a glimpse of It... to find out what It is... maybe then, and only then, I can find It's weakness and use them to my advantage.

I claw at reality just to try and kill It. (It's easily confused... and runs away quickly...)

In the little time It stays... usually only 2-3 hours... sometimes a little longer depending on It's mood... It's turned my entire world upside down... and leaves me jaded and tired and... hollow.

After the tears are wiped away... I can breathe... I can see...

... go back to being Satine...

But I constantly watch around every corner... because you can never know when It will strike... or why. The only thing I am sure of is that It has a motive... I know. There is some master plan up It's sleeve... just gotta watch my step...

... and you've, in turn, gotta do the same...